My Son and Me
by thegoodgirldoll
Summary: Remus and Tonks survived the Battle of Hogwarts, but when tragedy hits their family, Remus needs to grow up fast, and finally realize that caring for others is more important than caring for yourself.
1. Chapter 1

Remus ripped the bread in two and handed the smaller piece to his son.

Teddy was just beginning to chew solid foods, and bread was becoming the easiest thing for him to eat. Only sometimes did he have a problem with the chewy substance, and today was one of those days. Remus chuckled and coaxed the bread from the boy's chubby hands, dipping the end of it in milk and handing it back to his son. It was soft enough now for the boy to enjoy, and they both sat in silence to enjoy their small snack. It was nearing noon, and Remus had still heard no word for Minerva about his wife. He didn't know if she had been found; if she was alive. Remus brushed a strand of purple hair from Teddy's face, and it changed to a bright orange almost immediately as they boy giggled.

"Your hair grows abnormally fast, son, we'll have to get it cut soon."

The baby didn't reply, but this one-ended conversation was Remus's only company.

The lights in their home were off, so Remus was glad it was morning. A storm had knocked off all their electricity last night, so when it fell dark Remus would have to walk around with his wand tip lit, and sing his son to sleep. The child couldn't understand why the small moon nightlight in his bedroom wouldn't light, and Remus had to divert his attention from it to keep him from crying. Remus handed Teddy another bit of bread when he reached out his hand for more, and he ate it quicker than the last piece. As Remus watched his son, he heard a soft knock on the door and stood a bit quicker than he should have. He stumbled around the chair he knocked over, and lifted it up before pulling his wand from his cloak.

"Who's there?" He asked evenly, glancing back at his son who's eyes were locked on his father.

"It's Minerva, Remus," McGonagall called back, waiting patiently on the other side of the door.

Remus let his guard down and let her in quickly, locking the door back up behind her. He took her cloak for her and offered her a seat at the table where Teddy was sitting in his highchair. She mumbled a few words to the small child of affirmation and excitement, kissing one of his chubby fists before turning to Remus.

"How is he doing?"

"Great. He's eating solids now," he gestured to the bits of bread loitering the table of his high chair.

"And he's taking them well? No meat yet?" Minerva joked lightly.

Remus smiled. "No. Hopefully as Teddy grows meat will be an acquired taste- not one he craves."

Minerva nodded and dropped the subject; anxiety filled the air. Remus watched her as she swallowed thickly, forcing her attention back on the toddler.

"Remus, I don't know how to tell you this," she began, and Remus could hear the tears in her voice, beckoning to spill over.

"Then just say it, Minerva, please," he all but begged, taking a seat next to her. He rested a hand on her shoulder, beseeching her to look into his eyes. "I've been waiting for weeks. Did you find her?"

Minerva looked into his eyes then, and the tears he had hard in her voice were quite apparent in her eyes as she released her hold on Teddy's fist.

"We found her body, Remus. She's gone."

Remus felt as though he had been punched violently in the stomach, and for a moment he felt as though he'd pass out there in front of his son and the older woman.

"Where did you find her?" Remus asked- his eyebrows were furrowed and his face was etched with disbelief.

"On the outskirts of town."

"Did it look bad?" He pressed on.

Minerva seemed hesitant, but nodded mutely.

"Then perhaps it wasn't here; if the body was so mangled or bloodied up then you wouldn't be able to tell, would you?"

Minerva saw the wolf creep onto Remus's face. She saw the despair; the madness.

"Remus, it _was _Nymphadora."

"Don't call her Nymphadora," he replied quickly.

Minerva stared at him before biting her bottom lip and reaching into her cloak.

"Remus, it was her. This is all we could recover."

There it was, then, in his hand: her wedding band. He stared at the engraved words for a long moment before setting it on the table silently. Teddy sensed the tension in the air; the sadness and wailed loudly. He continued crying until Minerva took the child somberly into her arms. Sternly, she addressed her former pupil.

"You can't abandon your son, Remus. Not everything can be about you and this child is going to need you now."

Remus didn't look up at her. Instead he let his head sink into his hands as he fought back bitter tears.

"If you'd like I can keep him until you get yourself together," Minerva offered. The child had stopped crying now, and was staring at his father with big brown eyes.

Remus looked up then, slowly, and held out his arms. Teddy immediately reached for his father and Remus held his son close as he buried his head against the baby's chest.

"I can't have him away from me," he whispered.

"Then you're going to have to take care of him. I'm sorry, Remus, but you may not have time to grieve for many years. You've got a child."

Minerva stood then, not wanting to reprimand him any longer after unleashing the news. Gingerly she rubbed Teddy's tuft of jet black hair.

"Your son is mourning too. He's old enough to know his Mummy isn't around anymore."

Remus shook his head. "Why'd did she have to go? Why did she get called?" His eyes were full of anger; remorse.

"She wanted to go, Remus. You know she was the best auror they had."

"I told her I didn't want her confronting the pack," Remus whispered. "But she didn't listen."

Minerva knew he was more so talking to himself than her, and she wanted to allow him that time to sort out his thoughts.

"Harry will be by sometime after he gets off work. I'm sure he can tell you more."

Remus said nothing, but watched as his son's eyes slowly closed.

"If you need anything, I'm a floo away."

Remus nodded tensely then, and rested his head back against the chair. Minerva noticed then his tired features. His eyes were encased in black circles, and his lips formed a thin, cracked line. His body was thin and his skin was pale. His hair was graying more now, and Minerva could have sworn she saw Teddy's flicker with soft flecks of gray as well. She knew there were no further words she could say, so she let herself out in silence and shut the door gently behind her. She stepped out into the cold air, and continued down the street until the apparated with a pop.

00000000000000000000

"Are you sure?" Harry asked into the phone.

"I'm sure," Hermione replied. "We ran blood tests. It wasn't her blood."

"Who's was it?" Harry asked, exasperated and knocking over a pile of freshly stacked papers with his violent hand motions.

"Greybacks," Hermione whispered.

"Greyback's?" Harry inquired. "He killed her?"

"She was so mangled, Harry it makes sense."

Harry stared blankly ahead as Arthur walked by the door to his office.

"I'm heading over to Remus's now."

"I'm coming too," Hermione cried into the phone. "I have to."

"We can't tell him that it was Fenrir, Hermione," Harry urged before they hung-up. "Knowing that Tonks was killed because of him, will kill him too."

**Author's Note: Wizards using phones…Whaaaat? I know. I know. For the sake of this story, the Ministry has those old time phones that stay on the desks, just to talk easier to each department. Plus, this is set after the battle a few months to a year, so Harry and Hermione immediately began re-building the Ministry. **

**Also, obviously Remus and Tonks survived the actual battle, but now we ultimately did lose Tonks. More will be explained in the chapters to come. I just needed to write this story to give Remus the healing that Jo never showed despite his brief happiness over Teddy's birth. I also wanted to experiment with Teddy having some different..traits, then Jo led onto. **

**Please review! **

**God Bless.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note: Thank you for the feedback so far. I hope you enjoy chapter 2, and please R&R!**

**Blessings,**

**Sarah.**

Remus picked his son up from the changing table gently, closing his eyes as the child slumped into his father's embrace, and began to snore gently. It was odd holding a limp child; changing his nappy when he was half asleep. It was in those moments, when his son couldn't function without his help _at all _that Remus truly realized how much this little life depended on him and needed him. Usually, Tonks took care of all the baby stuff: changing nappies, and feeding him. Remus usually cooked dinner for their small family and then bathed Teddy. It was lonely without her; it ached to know she wouldn't walk through the door anymore. Her bright hair and vibrant personality always lit up their home. It was dark, though, now- emotionally and literally. Remus mumbled 'lumos' to light his wand and followed the dim light to Teddy's cot. After he had placed him into it and gotten him settled with his blanket and favorite stuffed animal, he heard the knock at the door. He rubbed his eyes tiredly, and asked who was there. He was greeted with Hermione's and Harry's voices and took a seat on the couch as he unlocked the door with a flick of his wand. Their wand tips were lit as well, and the kitchen became brightly illuminated between the three of them.

"Hello, Harry, Hermione," Remus nodded towards them.

Hermione smiled sadly and Harry swallowed thickly.

"How are you doing, Remus?" Harry asked as he took a seat across from the older man.

Hermione sat next to Harry and watched Remus's expressions intently.

"I don't know," he replied, furrowing his eyebrows.

Hermione stared at him nervously.

"Remus, you must be feeling something," she pressed on quietly. "I'm _so sorry _for your loss."

"Thank you, Hermione."

Harry nodded in agreement. "I'm sorry too, Remus. Tonks was a beautiful woman, and an extremely gifted auror. I know she was a wonderful Mum."

"She was," Remus pressed out. His throat felt constricted, as thought it would completely close on him at any moment.

"How's Teddy?" Hermione asked, glancing wistfully at the child in the small cot. "He's so handsome."

"He is such a brilliant young child, Remus. Are you having a hard time taking care of him on your own?"

"It's just lonely. I know how to care for my son, it's just so _different _without Tonks here," he spoke to them quietly.

"If you ever need help, you know you have three eager former pupils, Professor Lupin," Hermione joked weakly.

Remus offered her the best smile he could muster. "Thank you, Hermione. It means a lot that you lot are willing to band together during all of this. I'm sorry you had to come out this late."

"No, we wanted to," Harry assured. "Work was slow today, anyway, don't worry."

Teddy whimpered softly into his pillow then and Remus immediately reached a hand into the cot, rubbing the boy's back.

"Is he alright?" Hermione asked, tears filling her eyes as she wondered if Teddy was thinking of Tonks too.

"Yes, he's fine. He does that often- the crying into his pillow bit. He's somewhat of an attention seeker. When he wakes up he wants everyone to know."

Hermione nodded, staring at the baby. "This purple hair suits him well," she commented.

"Whenever he sleeps his hair turns purple. Don't ask me why," Remus responded.

For awhile they fell into silence. It wasn't amiable, or tense. The silence that permeated the room was more so full of doubt than anything. Everyone second guessed what they should say next; what was okay to mention or ask. Finally, Remus broke the silence.

"Was her body taken to St. Mungo's?"

"Yes," Harry answered, sitting up straighter in his seat as he prepared to answer whatever questions Remus had for him.

"And there was nothing they could do?"

"No," Harry replied.

"She was pronounced dead there, Alastor told me."

"Mad-Eye was here?" Harry asked, trying to steer clear of more thoughts of Tonks's death and the actual scene.

"Yes. He stopped by to offer his condolences, insight, and ask when the funeral will be. I don't think Alastor realizes these things take time…He is always in a hurry; always rough and to the point."

"Will you need help planning that, Remus?" Hermione asked thoughtfully. "I'll help all I can."

"I know you will," Remus responded. "But I think I need a bit of time. The first thing I have to do is call Andromeda."

"She doesn't know?" Harry asked, his heart sinking.

"No. I feel terrible but I just haven't had any time. Teddy was throwing a fit from the second Minerva left until later on, and then Alastor came, and now you lot. People have been coming and going all day and I haven't had a spare moment to floo over."

"Are you going to do it tonight?"

"I believe I will. Her sleeping patterns are like Dora's. She enjoys sleeping late and staying up late."

"If you'd like us to come, we can," Hermione offered, trying to be helpful without being overkill with all of his offered help.

"Thank you, but I think this is something Teddy and I must do on our own."

Defeated, Hermione and Harry glanced to the ground, keeping their eyes locked on the brown carpet.

"It's getting late," Harry finally commented. "We should get going."

"Yes, we probably should. Ron will be wondering where I am all this time."

They both stood as did Remus then, and Harry offered him a brief hug before Hermione gave him a tearful, longer one. Hermione was first to walk to the door, and when Harry stayed behind momentarily, he spoke to Remus quickly: "Don't worry, Remus. We will avenge her. The Ministry has already set a group of aurors looking for that pack."

Remus nodded tensely, but seemed to bite his tongue as he looked back at his son. "Thank you, Harry."


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note: This chapter is going to be incredibly sad. I started crying while writing it, and I have only done that in one other story. I'm sorry in advance! Please review!**

**God Bless,**

**Sarah. **

Remus shifted his weight from one foot to the other as the cold air hit him repeatedly; wind ripping at his hair and cloak. He held Teddy close to him; tight against his chest, and covered the boy's head with his small hood as he stepped closer to the home. The small cottage was run-down, and a bit muggle-esq. Andromeda preferred the simpler things in life, and her house was no different than those tastes. It was small, warm, and inviting…But cheap, and dinky. Andromeda had gotten worse with housekeeping and cooking since Ted had passed on, though, and Remus knew the only thing that kept her alive was her daughter and grandson. Remus's heart sank. This was going to kill her. He was going to enter her house, to tell her that her only child was dead. Not only dead, but dead because of him- dead because she wanted to take down the pack that had infected her husband physically and emotionally. For a split-second, Remus considered turning around out of fear; anxiety. How could he face her? How could he go in there, and act as though he was bringing Teddy by for a visit, when he was really going to say that Dora was gone?

He knew what she would say, of course, he had done this before. He had brought Teddy on his own, just to visit his grammy when his mummy was sick or at work late. Andromeda would always offer them soup to take home to her ill baby girl, or let them spend the night there so she could pitch in with Teddy's care if her '_strong, and beautiful daughter,' _was working late. Nymphadora would always come and relieve them in the morning, taking them home with her as she flopped into bed for the first time that day, having been locking people up and going over paperwork all day. She would tip toe around her mother who would be asleep on the floor, having fallen asleep playing trucks with Teddy, leave Andy a note, and then take Remus hand as they exited and went back to their home, not far to walk from her own childhood home.

Remus swallowed hard as he mulled over these memories, and for a moment a small smile came to his face before he remembered that she wasn't there beside him, and that she wouldn't be relieving his son and him in the morning. She would never again tell them to come home with her; never leave her mother a note. Remus took out the key he had in his pocket and slid it into the lock quickly. Turning the internal mechanisms, and then yanking the key out, he opened the door and shuffled inside, kicking off the snow flurries that stuck to his light brown moccasin shoes. Andromeda bounded down the stairs with a large smile plastered across her face as he shut the door, and he closed his eyes tight, shutting the door as slowly as possible to compose himself before turning back to her. Thankfully, she didn't notice his hesitance, and as ritual, she grabbed Teddy from his arms and offered him the usual seat he took on the couch. Instead, though, he chose to sit in the rocker closest to the door, wanting to make this visit as un-normal as possible. It _wasn't _normal. Dora wouldn't be there in the morning, so he couldn't bare to play pretend. If she was no longer alive, everything needed to change- even the smallest, normal routines.

Andromeda paid no attention to him sitting in a different seat. He knew if she hadn't been doting over her grandson, she would have surely noticed since him not taking his preferred seat was very odd, but he was glad that she was engrossed in the baby so he could gather his thoughts. How was he going to tell her? How in the world could he break this to her? Was it best to just tell her? Beat around the bush and get to the point slowly, as her anger flared and she begged him to tell her what was wrong? He knew he couldn't do that- he just couldn't. If he arrived at the conclusion slowly, and went over every fact in detail, then he would breakdown, and he couldn't let his son or mother-in-law see him that way. He had to be strong for his family- for the family he had left.

"Andy?" He found his voice, standing.

She turned to him from her spot at the entry-way to the kitchen. She smiled as Teddy giggled, turning his head to face his father as well. The small child's eyes were morphed to look like Dora's and Remus took a very sharp intake of breath, rubbing his eyes as they quickly became red-rimmed once more.

"Andy I came here because I need to tell you something, I-"

Andromeda noticed now that something was wrong; that Remus was tense.

He was never tense.

She walked towards him menacingly.

"-Remus John Lupin, I have never seen this face on you before. Why did you come here? What do you have to tell me? Nervous, are you? Are you leaving my daughter, Remus? Because I swear if you-"

Remus's tears sprung to his eyes now, threatening to spill over, and Andromeda retreated as he cut her off with a hurried whisper.

"-I'm not leaving her," he took in a deep breath and looked into Andromeda's eyes. "She left me."

Confusion registered across Andy's face as she rested Teddy more on her hip and furrowed her eyebrows.

"That doesn't sound like my Nymphadora…Besides, how irrational to leave your child! Did you have a disagreement?"

"No, Andy, y-you don't understand."

"Please help me to," she breathed, staring into Remus eyes.

Finally, he swallowed and responded before he lost his courage and his tears took over.

"She's dead."


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Note: I know it has been awhile, but things have been so crazy at my house and stuff. I hope you all enjoy nevertheless, and as always, I will try to get updates done sooner than these months at a time deals. **

**Please review!**

**God Bless,**

**Sarah.**

Andromeda had stumbled into Remus's arms and fallen apart. Every piece of her came undone as she clutched the front of his robe, willing him to tell her this wasn't true- that her daughter wasn't dead. She was, though. Tonks was gone. Her beautiful daughter was a memory; her grandson had no Mum.

"I'm so sorry," Remus whispered, holding his mother-in-law's head against his chest. "It's all my fault."

The words hit Andromeda square in the chest and she immediately pulled away, looking into Remus's eyes.

"Don't do this to me," she begged. "Do _not _act like this is _your _fault again, _please. _All you do is blame yourself and your son needs you to not to do that. Remus, _I _need you to not do that."

Remus nodded awkwardly, hanging his head partially and moving to the couch where his son was lying, asleep with a gentle smile tugging at his lips. Wearily, Remus took a seat beside Teddy and beckoned Andromeda to sit close to them.

"I've already lost Ted," she mumbled. "I know how to do loss. I just don't know how to do the loss of a child."

They spent their evening in silence.

Brokenness inhabited the room, filling Andromeda and Remus with dread and discomfort. Neither of them knew how they could overcome the emotions that were raging inside of them. Remus was just drifting off, listening to Andromeda's soft sniffling, as Teddy stirred beside him. At his hip, in a heap of neon-blue hair, sweat, and oversized jacket, Teddy lay. He had been content for hours, but finally he was becoming uncomfortable; discontented. Remus reached to his side and shifted so that Teddy sprawled out next to him in thanks for the extra space he was gaining from his father's change of position. Remus couldn't help the smile that graced his lips, but he pulled them into a tight line immediately and scooped his son up into his arms.

"You're antsy tonight," Remus whispered, stepping over Andromeda's feet as they stretched out from her spot on the couch. "Are you hungry?"

Teddy simply stared up at his father with large, brown orbs. They were a soft, almond shape and reminded Remus so immensely of Tonks that it was painful. The ache still hadn't set up house in his heart; the hole in his being was still waiting to be filled when she would walk in the door the next morning. She _would _be home from work. She would _never _leave them. Remus couldn't absorb the fact that she was actually gone, and as he stumbled around the kitchen getting Teddy's bottle warmed, he still waited for her to come back. She was working a late shift. That was all. She would be back. Remus took Teddy's bottle from the counter where it had been bathed in a Warming Spell, and shook some of the white contents on his wrist. Warmth flooded over his thin veins as his wrist absorbed the temperature and moisture. Teddy wailed loudly and Remus jumped. He sighed, coaxing the bottle into Teddy's mouth.

"Stop fussing," Remus spoke quietly, moving a stray piece of purple hair from Teddy's face. His hair changed so rapidly and with every mood. "You're fine; I got your snack, sweet boy."

He walked towards the couch once more as Teddy sucked on his bottle. Stooping down, Remus held his son in one arm and grabbed his blanket off the floor with his other.

"You must have been freezing all night, yet you were sweating," Remus chuckled. "Everything about you is so contradicting."

Teddy stared up at his father with brown orbs still, but made no movement or sound.

"Do you blink, at least?" Remus asked.

Teddy still remained immobile as Remus took his seat and rested his legs on the ottoman in front of them.

"I suppose that is a no."

Remus rested his head back as Teddy drank his bottle greedily. It was nearing three in the morning now, and Andromeda remained fast asleep beside them. Remus didn't know what her real reaction was going to be. In the morning, when she awoke, her daughter would still be dead. Nymphadora was gone, and Remus wasn't sure how Andromeda was going to take the news all over again. Waking up was the worst, really. You always held the hope that when you awoke, they would be there. Remus was holding onto that- the possibility that it could all be a bad dream. It wasn't, though. It wasn't a bad dream- it was an incredibly real nightmare.

"Promise me that you will never forget her," Remus whispered into his son's tuft of black hair. "She can't be forgotten."

It was striking eight in the morning when Andromeda awoke and found her son-in-law and grandson sleeping beside her. Teddy's bottle was resting on his chest where a small pool of milk had formed, and Remus's head was back against the couch as he snored and held his grip firmly around his son. Tears pricked at her eyes as she realized that the scene before her is how it would always be now. Her daughter wasn't coming home. She couldn't believe it. Gingerly, she reached out a hand and brushed through Teddy's hair. He was sporting his natural color- the same sandy brown as Remus's. Andromeda rubbed his head and smiled softly. Her heart was breaking, but they would make it. Remus could do this if he set his mind to it; they would manage. With difficulty, she lifted herself from the couch and glanced back at them as she pulled her robe tighter around her.

"Help them go one, Dora," she whispered as she stared out the window. "Watch over your family."


End file.
